Breakups are difficult for everyone. The feelings that arise from a breakup can make you sick to your stomach but no one knows exactly what the future holds in store for them . If things didn’t work with your ex, it was probably for a reason. If it was over something stupid, then you two just might find your way back to each other. For those that can accept that the breakup is definitely permanent, then the first thing you have to is start to emotionally and romantically move on with your life. Here are some helpful steps to do just that.

Cut Off All Communication

Ending all communication may seem rash, and you might think it would be mature to remain friends, but you’ve got to act with purpose if you want to complete the goal of getting over your ex. Once the breakup is official and you know it was not just another petty fight, then you have to cut off all communication. That means, deleting them as a friend from Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, or any other social networking platform you both use. You don’t want to see their pictures because they will remain in the forefront of your mind and you’ll usually assume the worst. You’ll just jump to the wrong kind of conclusions, get mad, and act inappropriately. You don’t want to talk with her on the phone or online. It will just make you miss her. You don’t want to be reminded of what she’s doing or where she’s going. Don’t lose focus. You’re not trying to keep tabs on her, you’re trying to move forward with your life. The first step in moving forward is to learn from past mistakes and blunders to better your future. Your ex was a speed bump in the road. Having a short memory is a wonderful thing for this type of situation. While you don’t want to forget the memories and great times you shared, as well as the bad times where you’ll consequently learn how to be a more caring individual, you don’t want to stay hung up on the fact that she was the only person you can share great memories with.

Keep Busy

Getting over your ex requires you to stop thinking about her. That’s what cutting off communication with her is going to help with. However, the mind is a wonderful tool that can also play tricks on you. Your mind has instilled in it impressions of the good times you two shared together. That’s why you need to take additional measures. Usually what I’ve noticed is that the hardest times are upon waking in the morning and when going to bed. This is a major indicator of what makes you miss her. You miss her when your body and mind are wound down with not too much going on upstairs. When you are lonely and you start to think about things (and in general, life), you miss those times you shared. However, during the day, when you are preoccupied with other things, you rarely think about her, or when you do think about her, it isn’t as amplified as when you are alone. That should insinuate for you to keep as busy as possible throughout the early morning, day, and night. Getting lost in your work, other ventures, and your social life will help you tremendously. If you work a 9-5 job, go out to happy hour with co-workers. If you have a lot of spare time on your hands, take up a new business project.

Do whatever you can to get out of the house. The more you’re alone, the more you’ll start to think about how alone you are. Do everything to avoid this. The only time you should be home during this recovery stage is to sleep or have friends over. That’s it. Furthermore, notice how the two most opportune times to think about her are while in bed. That means you miss the physical aspect of the relationship as well, which leads us to our next step: finding a new girl to be physical with.

Find the Next Girl

Although it may sound cliché, like a million fish in the sea, there are millions of girls out there that are actually smarter, prettier, and a better person than your ex was. There’s always something better out there. For those of you who are still caught up in thinking your ex girlfriend was absolutely perfect, it’s because you haven’t met those other girls yet. No girl is perfect just like no guy is perfect. You need to put yourself out there and meet new girls because there are so many other special girls out there who will care for you just as much, who will love you just as much, who will go the extra mile to please you, who will do all the same little things for you that your ex did and then some. Nothing will get your mind off of your ex than when you develop feelings for a new girl. When you fall for a different girl, which will happen (despite the fact that you may think your ex was the “one” and you’ll never find happiness again- trust me, you will), it is as if your ex never existed.

If you broke up recently, you may say to yourself that you never want to feel that way. However, in due time, I promise you that you will feel that way and should feel that way. You’ve got to move on with your life and leaving that excess baggage behind you is only going to speed up the recovery process. While you may still love your ex girlfriend and wish the best for her because of the great times you’ve shared, once you get to this point of finding someone else that you are compatible with, you won’t be in love with your ex. This is not to say that you’ll immediately fall in love with this new girl, but it will shed light on exactly what I am saying. There are so many girls out there that are actually even better than your ex. You might actually start to wonder why you ever got involved with your ex because it is that enlightening. I am not suggesting that this is going to work out this way 100% of the time. There is always that exception that once getting to this point of meeting new girls and where a lot of time has elapsed, you really still are in love with your ex. Maybe that girl really is the one for you and you need to consequently get back with her. However, this is the exception and not the rule. Most relationships don’t work out for a compelling reason.

Don’t Move on Too Fast

Once you’ve moved on, keep things in perspective. If you like a new girl, that’s great, but weigh your options and determine whether or not you actually want to move too fast. If that’s something you need, go right ahead, but don’t just settle for any girl because you’re lonely. It will all work for you in the end. Stay positive and keep moving forward.