Sports often get a bad rap when it comes to the topic of relationships. What normally comes to mind when pondering the idea is a disgruntled and scowling couple sitting on the couch with arms crossed while staring blankly at whatever is on TV due to the recent fight over the remote control. Undoubtedly, he wants to watch the football, baseball, or basketball game while she is determined to see the latest edition of Dancing with the Stars. However, many psychologists and couples counselors advocate the use of sports as a means for couples to overcome daily stress and even build stronger relationships. For instance, that couple who is competitively battling it out over who controls the TV channel changer can be turned into healthy competition via a shared sporting activity.

Relational Benefits of Shared Sports

When partners join together in a shared sport, they also share various valuable experiences which work towards a healthy relationship. By playing together, the couple experiences shared positive emotions as they work toward shared goals all while laughing, cheering and having some good old fun.

Couples who play sports together also benefit in a couple of other ways. Anyone in a relationship has to learn to develop both their own individual identity as well as a collective identity with their mate. Sport is a good method for strengthening both identities. For instance, a couple playing softball together will grow individually through personal skills in hitting and fielding the ball while, at the same time, further developing their collective personality with other players and their partner through teamwork to make the plays and win the game.

Avoid Sports That Are Overly Competitive or That Isolate

The best sports for couples to get involved in together are those that promote teamwork and those that provide the ability to talk and interact while performing. The reason for this is simple.

Very competitive sports, such as boxing, are overly competitive and require only one winner. A couple going at it in the ring may relieve some stress by the stronger male getting a few “payback” punches in on his bitchy girl, or the slyer gal taking a penalty by giving her cocky mate a swift kick in the groin. However, the relationship is sure to be just as sour if not outright curdled as they arrive home licking their wounds.

Isolated sports are just as unhelpful to struggling couples. The idea is to get out and interact, but that is difficult to do if your chosen relationship sport is swimming or cross country running. Such sports may give the individual plenty of inspiration, but it won’t solve the need for collective growth.
Couples should also avoid those sports in which one partner excels and the other lacks. Bad feelings such as insufficiency and resentment can arise when, for instance, the girl has to be constantly told the rules for playing flag football, or the man has to submit to being instructed in the proper way to play tennis. Instead, a sport should be pursued which both partners are versed in, or that they both need instruction in, so that they are enjoying the experience together.

When couples choose to play together and with a right attitude then well selected sports can be a very good way for them to grow, both individually and collectively, relieve daily stress and enjoy a healthy, happy relationship.